Spring Lovin' Horoscopes for the Mundane - Comics

Mars and Mercury are.. Accounting class or what not. It'll raise your sex appeal a few notches, enough to help you get with your currently most compatible zodiac sign: Aquarius! However, avoid those uptight Virgos who don't embrace your feistiness. Taurus (April 21-May 20): Love is in the air, dear Taurus. People born in the spring should embrace these feelings and reach beyond their dreams-and, of course, get laid, if that's what you so desire.

Consider settling down with a Virgo, as those born at the end of the summer will enjoy your sunny-day laziness and surprising libido. This means when ID's are checked at the entrance of Thorp et al, check for an August birthday-if that's the case, remind them condoms are cheap at Health Services!)

This week, avoid the Sagittarius; their energy will only interfere with your lazy dreaming. Gemini (May 21-June 20): A wise deer once said that all the animals in spring feel "twitterpated." Then his mom was shot. Watch your mouth this week, especially on March 22 when Mars and Neptune do something.

Your most compatible signs right now are Libra; your least compatible sign is Gemini, unless you're polyamorous, because dating four people at once is what happens when two Geminis do the hump-de-bump. Cancer (June 21-July 22): Follow your heart, Cancer. Don't let someone steal your dreams away from you. Today you belong with another Cancer, and you know it.

Just close your eyes and picture the things and people that make you feel the most secure, and go for it! Of all the signs, you are the most sick of winter, so if you see a snowball, give it a kick. March 19 should be interesting this year. You should avoid Aquarius and Capricorn; Aquarius just isn't a compatible date and Capricorns can be killjoys.

Pisces is also a very compatible sign for you. Continued..

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